I’ve been working on developing a concise blurb for the novel I’m writing. I’ve gone through no less than four iterations of a back-of-the novel blurb in hopes of distilling the story in my mind. And as of last night, I reduced it further to a one sentence blurb that I’m not embarrassed to put up on the blog.
[tweetmeme source=”jjdanz” only_single=false service=ht.ly]
Check it out.
From this:
The Magnate Trust rules the ancient industrial city of Bogazeci, but raw materials rule the Magnate Trust. Centuries of ceaseless manufacturing and trade have depleted Bogazeci’s raw material reserves. Head Magnate Atakan Shrike seeks the living magic from the desert steppe of the Jashem to stoke the fires of industry and his dreams of an empire.
One thousand miles to the east an airship crashes in the Jashem. When Yuruk nomad Khyrg al Wahid discovers the downed airship — and the survivors — Khyrg must choose between the ancient laws of his people and outlanders from the city that has plundered the Jashem for two hundred years.
Khyrg’s journey takes him back to Bogazeci where he confronts the specters of his past. Amid intrigues and civil unrest in the city, Khyrg learns the sacrifice that must be made to save his family and his people. But can he overcome the painful memories of his past to make it?
To this:
When a nomad discovers the survivors of a downed airship, he forsakes his clan to guide the survivors back to the city that hides his painful past and uncovers a secret that may destroy his people.
It’s not perfect, but I feel like it’s getting closer. My hope is to have this stuff ironed out by the time I start querying.
BONUS ROUND: An attaboy for anyone who identifies the source of the title of this post.
I have no idea where the title comes from (without cheating and using google) but I am impressed with your one sentence blurb. Seriously. Good work.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Like Rebecca, I am also impressed and clueless as to your title.
Cool. Thanks. It’s hard to tell sometimes if the blurb is working or not.
Wow-so much packed into a single sentence. Beautiful. I didn’t recognize the title, but I looked it up. Can’t believe I didn’t get it.
Thanks for the feedback. Clearly you need to re-watch some movies! Great to hear from you!
Ha! You wouldn’t be a Hoodoo Gurus fan by some chance?
I actually really liked the first blurb, but it had just a bit too much detail to be easily readable, especially with all the names. The second one was much clearer, but perhaps a bit bland? If it were me, I’d be aiming for something in between these two.
Either way, I’m looking forward to reading the book one day.
I’ve only dabbled in Hoodoo Gurus, but don’t own any. I just googled them and see they are heading out on their Purity of Essence tour. Awesome.
Thanks for the feedback on the blurbs. I’ll keep it in mind on my next attempts. I like the longer one better, but certainly both could use more polishing. I was so excited to have distilled the whole thing into one sentence I had to share 😉
Hi Jonathan, I just wanted you to know the blurb looks nice. I know mine went through 8,234 revisions before I was finally, completely happy with it. ;-D
Good job.
Thanks for saying so. There’s more work to be done, but at least I’ve made it this far!